Breaking with Babylon
I’ve written a lot of things that I’m about, but I haven’t written a lot of things about me. This is a little different, a little more personal.
I sat on my veranda having coffee this morning, thinking about my life. I suddenly realized that even though I had a lot of ups and downs the last few months, sitting there, I felt free, content and happy. Just a while back, I couldn’t say those words.
One year ago…
… I was living alone, in a company-sponsored fully-furnished four-bedroom apartment. I had a company car, a driver called Hensaw, who drove me everywhere I needed to go, and a maid called Augusta, who cleaned-up and did my washing, five days a week.
My neighbors were from many different nationalities, and mostly engineers, like myself. My favorite neighbor was a guy called Eugen, who knew a lot about Ericsson equipment, and came from the Ukraine.
Eugen had a dog called Spotty. I often spoke to Eugen when we met at the pool, which was where I did my push-ups every day after work, and where he liked to stop for a cigarette, while walking his dog Spotty. Spotty was a good dog.
Sounds good? Read on…
I spent about two hours in traffic everyday, getting to work and back. Most of what I saw during my daily two hour commute, from the air-conditioned backseat of my company car, was extreme poverty.
The extreme poverty was spotted with little blobs of extreme riches. These little blobs seemed very out of place, given their surroundings. It felt… perverse. Knowing that I was one of those little blobs made the feeling more intense.
The feeling was at its worst every time I saw a dirty little hand clawing at my window. The hand usually belonging to one of the many malnourished, poverty stricken, five-year old children, who were begging for money at the busy intersections.
Welcome to Lagos, Nigeria.
My work was stressful. Because of the stress, we had a high staff-turnover. Most people who came to Nigeria to join my group stayed less than a year. After one and a half years, I was the most experienced contractor in my team, because all the people who more experienced than I had left.
I looked forward to the weekends very much, and I literally counted down the days till my next visit “home”, which happened roughly every three months. Those visits were the only times I got to see my family and the people I loved most.
I met many of the local Nigerians while I was there. Nigerians are mostly friendly and intelligent people, even though they often come across as aggressive.
I learned a little bit of “pigeon English”, and also a bit of their local languages. The most common words I heard from the Nigerians I met were “awibo”, meaning “white-man”, and the second most common words I heard were “what do you have for me?”.
I spent my weekends surfing at my favorite surf-spot, Tarkwa-Bay. Tarkwa-Bay is situated at the Lagos harbor entrance, and apart from some of the people I met, it’s the only thing I really miss about Nigeria. There I rode some of the biggest, most thrilling and heart-stoppingly gnarly waves I’ve ever had the privilege to encounter.
I’ll still go back there just to surf Tarkwa-Bay. Even though the water is often so polluted it feels like you’re paddling around in the middle of a rubbish dump, and you have to watch out for hypodermic needles and other hazardous trash lying around, when walking on the beach.
Babylon
Nigeria is the eight biggest oil exporting country in the world, and the biggest oil producing country in Africa. The problem in Nigeria is not a lack of money. Nigeria is not short of resources.
I’d like to point fingers, but the web of corruption, greed and red-tape is so confusing, I don’t know where to point. Or perhaps I just don’t have enough fingers. Oil companies? Exxon-Mobil? Shell? The Nigerian government? The self-centered Nigerian leaders who make their wealth through accepting bribes, and doing things that are to the detriment of the poor?
How about anyone affording himself a luxury gained through border-line or outright dishonest means? How about anyone who makes his money not through his own dishonesty, but through direct or indirect business connections with those who do?
How about me? An “honest” telecommunications engineer? How about anyone else who was there but didn’t make a difference, or didn’t make enough of a difference?
Is there any use in pointing fingers?
You cannot stare into the face of God for long without getting a heart for the lost and the poor of the world. By staring into the face of God you will get God’s heart, and God’s heart is for the lost and the poor.
My break with Babylon
I’ve been back in South Africa for about five months. I’m currently living in Ballito, a small coastal town about 50km north of Durban.
I recently moved into a small garden flat. My entire flat is about the same size my bedroom was a year ago. I’m having trouble to fit in all my things, but I love it. It’s quiet and peaceful.
My flat is very old, and surrounded by a beautiful garden. I have a small, open veranda, with a little bit of a sea-view, where I enjoy my coffee every morning.
I am renting from a guy called Mike. Mike is turning eighty next year. His wife of forty-five years passed away a while ago, but he remarried last year, and will be celebrating his anniversary on the 11th of August.
Mike and his wife do a lot of volunteer work amongst the poor people who live close-by. A while ago, before the winter started, they bought blankets and gave them to some of the kids he works with. When Mike told me about how these children were blessed by his work, I could sense the joy in his spirit. I can and want to help him.
I have a neighbor called Dean. Dean is 27 years old, owns a small barber-shop, rides a “bicycle with one gear”, and I can hear him singing and playing guitar almost every evening. He makes the most beautiful music.
Dean says he’s not a Christian, but that he believes in God, and that he’s read the Bible several times. He uses words like “karma”, “green”, and “maaties” a lot, and he says his style of music is called reggae-ska.
I won’t be staying here for very long. Probably a few months, perhaps a year. I also don’t yet know where I’ll be going next, but I do know the most important things in life.
What to make from all of this
Like I said, this post is a little different. There’s no point I’m trying to make. If there’s anything for you to take from this, I hope it’s something good.
Pictures
I originally had a bunch of pictures placed in between the paragraphs, but I decided to take most of them out. I felt they distracted too much from the words. Here they are, all in one go.
Nigeria
Most Nigerians live in poverty. I’ve never experienced such a big divide between the rich and the poor. It’s almost like there exists no middle class.
Sometimes everything just gridlocks. I once spent 7 hours in traffic, and covered less than 10km.
Tarkwa-Bay, Lagos, Nigeria. It’s polluted, it’s a mission to get there, and it only works about 20 times a year. But it gave me some of the most heart-stoppingly awesome moments of my life. It’s one of the only things I miss about living in Nigeria.
My new place
This is Mike and his wife, whom I’m renting from.
This is the view with which God blesses me every morning.
Here is my tiny flat and veranda.
My vanities
My biggest vice. Strong is gooooooooooood!!
My Sony. It’s a she-Sony, and her name is Umpf. Umpf likes to play Hillsong United music the most, but sometimes she also likes to play some heavy metal. I like Umpf because she makes my feet tap, and when she’s jolly she can also make my chair vibrate (then it’s almost like those snazzy massage chairs you see).
My set of wheels. It is not a he or a she, it is just an it. Its name is Jimmy. Jimmy likes to jump. I like Jimmy because it keeps me fit and gets me to the wave-lookouts.
My cure for fiddly fingers.
My other set of wheels. It’s a he-car, and his name is Wolf.
Wolf is at his happiest while accelerating, and playing Chevelle tracks very loudly. I like Wolf because he gives me goose-bumps.
My complete home gym. I LOVE push-ups. It’s the all-round upper-body and core-stability miracle exercise.
My surf-quiver. I’m afraid it’s not a very diverse quiver! I like 5’11s a lot, so three of them are exactly that, just with different tails and thicknesses. The other one is a 2nd hand 6’1, for those places where a board might end-up in two.
Last week’s entertainment.
Next month’s entertainment.
My source of Wisdom.
All the verses I’ve quoted on this website are from the Living Bible. I like it because it is written in simple English, and easy to understand.
So now you have a snapshot of my life, and a little bit of background. I can only be thankful for how God has taught me, protected me, and blessed me over the years. I really am a lucky guy.
August 9th, 2008 at 06:13 am
Thank you for sharing part of your life. I know it is hard sometimes to give that little piece of you away. I feel like I know you even better.
AWESOME pictures Francois. Really! First of all, I can’t imagine what it’s like living in a poverty stricken city/country. I am so spoiled. We take so much for granted over here in the states. I know everybody everywhere does to a certain extent, but I think we REALLY do over here.
Secondly, I can NEVER complain about the traffic here ever again. I can’t wait to show Nick that picture. We complain about the traffic here in the big cities. Our traffic can’t even begin to touch that!
And finally, I would LOVE to get up to that view every morning. WOW! How beautiful and peaceful. It seems like you have some great people living around you.
I am thankful for how God has blessed you, too and how he has put you into my life. I am thankful that I am able to count you among my friends – even if you are on the other side of the world.
August 9th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I’m glad you’ve found happiness. And that Babylon is in the past. Praying God’s favour on you for the here and the now…
August 9th, 2008 at 02:36 pm
this is probably going to be long because i have some much to comment on. i am going to start at the top.
i am really glad you got yourself out of that situation. michael and i were just driving around our states capital last night trying to find the place michael is playing music next weekend when we started talking about how this town goes straight from privileged to poverty with no middle class and i said it is just like wilmington were you have to be rich to be poor. your pictures prove my point. not even the poor in america live like that. yes you have homeless living under bridges but even they have something. they have a grocery cart with some specail things in it, but those people you just showed us have noTHING. it brakes my heart. for some reason God has always given me a specail place in my heart for the people of africa. they have always had it really bad. words can not describe the torture they have been through and i have always thought “what can i do?” i pray and i always hound michael about adopting and african baby, but that takes alot of money that we don’t have.o.k of that soap box. SORRY.
francois, you are going to grow a tail surfing in that.it looks like tea. what are you thinking? in your post i don’t think you metioned where you are from. do you have your family near you now and do you have siblings?mike and his wife look very nice.
your place looks very nice and peaceful. i can tell you are single. you need something on the walls!! i would suggest Caedmon’s call for your sony.
i wish i had a bike. i have to walk for exercise.what kind of car is that?it looks kind of like a sob.
my son and nephew are really into push ups. my nephew just got these two things called “the perfect push up” and my son has gone crazy over it.
my son wants a surfboard. he skateboards and has surfed before but he is really hounding us about wanting one, but they cost alot of money. alot of my friends growing up surfed but i was never with them when they bought a board. i would asume you couldn’t buy them used because they could have dents and i would asume you couldn’t order over the computer used because it could be cracked. so how could you go about getting a nice but doesn’t cost alot board? we looked at surf shops and they are 400 and up.
i love popular mechanics. i read it on line all the time. what a small world.
i have that very same green living bible in my house.my dailey bible is the niv but i am getting ready to graduate to the esv.
thanks for sharing your life with us. you are a friend and i am glad.
August 9th, 2008 at 03:46 pm
@Robin:
Thanks for the encouraging comment.
But traffic is traffic! I hate it still, whether it’s in Durban, Johannesburg, Lagos or the USA. So feel free to complain away!!!
@ripplegirl:
@Jamie:
I don’t have any answers for the problem of poverty in Africa. I don’t know if giving aid or supporting children there really are good things.
Here are two articles about it that a friend sent me:
- http://www.independent.ie/opinion/columnists/kevin-myers/africa-is-giving-nothing-to-anyone–apart-from-aids-1430428.html
- http://www.independent.ie/opinion/columnists/kevin-myers/writing-what-i-should-have-written-so-many-years-ago-1437779.html
I do know, however, that we are called to live lives that bring glory to God, and to love those around us. Loving someone does not always mean giving something to them ( http://liberta.co.za/blog/financial-freedom-quick-tip-14-watch-out-for-harmful-helping/ ). Except love.
Like I said, I don’t have any answers. Perhaps it is not our job to have answers. Love does not expect results, it just loves.
About the dirty water at Tarkwa-Bay, yes sometimes it was really disgusting!! But I’m happy to report that after two years of surfing that place nearly every weekend, I seem to be healthy. Perhaps a little crazy, but otherwise just fine and dandy.
About buying a 2nd hand surfboard – WHY NOT? I had three used surfboards before I bought my first one new (and then I had it specially shaped for me).
If you’re just learning to surf, you’re going to ding and mess up your board anyways! So buy an old, big, thick thing. If it floats and looks OK, it’s fine!! Shouldn’t cost you much more than $50.
And lastly, tell your son I say “well done!!” on his push-up mission. It really is a great exercise! I do all different types by placing my hands at various positions, and you can workout so many of the muscles in your back, shoulders, arms and chest this way.
August 9th, 2008 at 03:52 pm
@Jamie
Oh, some more answers to your questions (sorry missed them).
My folks live about 600km away in Pretoria, but I see them fairly often. That’s also where I grew up. I have one little sis who just turned 18 this year. And the car is a Volvo S40 T4.
I’ll have a chat with Umpf about Caedmon’s call later today. At the moment she’s a bit offended that you didn’t notice that it’s her speakers that ARE decorating the walls!!
August 9th, 2008 at 04:51 pm
Hi Francois, thank you for sharing about your life, for giving us a glimpse of what you have seen, the poverty, the beauty, some people you have met along the way, and where God has brought you to now. To a place where you feel content and happy.
God bless.
It has been great to get to know you a little better through this post. And can I just say, I really relate to your “vice” of good strong cup of coffee
August 9th, 2008 at 04:40 pm
yes, thank you for sharing a glimpse into your life. being from the U.S.A, and never traveled out of the country, I find it very interesting
August 9th, 2008 at 05:13 pm
@ Jamie – I love you…I wanted to comment more, but you know how I rattle on. Thanks for doing it for me. And I LOVE the “grow a tail” comment.
I just about died laughing!
@ Francois – I made the same comments to Miranda about your room and your walls, but she did notice the speakers. Leave it to a 12 year old.
August 9th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
@ Miranda:
Well done young friend!! Umpf is feeling much better!!
@ Robin & Jamie:
Listen to the wisdoms of the little one…
… and I’ve made a special point of checking for a tail last time I showered. Happy to report there nothing yet. Thank God.
@ Birgit & Nate:
It’s a big pleasure!!
And Birgit, I’ve done some solid research. As far as vices go, good coffee may be excused.
August 9th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
HA HA HA HA!!!!
August 17th, 2008 at 02:34 am
Wow. Thanks for sharing…I was overwhelmed by the pictures of Nigeria…I’m so glad you are in a better place…now all you need is a wife and kids….:)
August 28th, 2008 at 03:34 am
After my comment on the 17th…I’m going to take some credit for your recent engagement….ha, ha!!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH OF YOU!!!!
August 28th, 2008 at 06:19 am
@Sharon:
Hehe… Credits deposited.
Thank-you!!
October 7th, 2008 at 06:51 am
I really enjoyed reading your story. I spent two years living in Tanzania as a Peace Corps Volunteer after college. Those years changed my life, and to this day I am more thankful for what I have, and happy with less than most of my peers. The best part about the Peace Corps is the emphasis on integration with the community. The closest volunteer to me was a four hour bike ride from my village (or a 30 minute bus ride and then two hours of walking), so most of the time it was just me and the village. I didn’t have electricity or running water; I lived in a mud brick house like everyone else (but I was spoiled – mine had concrete floors instead of dirt). I learned the language and learned to live with so much less than I was used to – and was truly happy with my life there. Learning to make do is a valuable lesson, and I really feel like my time in Tanzania taught me to do just that.
October 7th, 2008 at 02:42 pm
@Frugal Babe
That must have been an experience!
Perhaps it is part of what taught you to be able to live frugally like you guys are doing now.
Would you ever do it again?
October 21st, 2009 at 02:28 pm
Dear Francois, thank you for this blog and sharing your life. What an inspiring site you have created, and what an inspring life you lead.
I am really encouraged by your philosophy and actions, particularly in relation to your decision to lead a simple life, which I could not agree more with.
Although I am a professional, earning well, who is able to afford many luxuries and gadgets, I have also already a couple of years ago decided to radically simplify my and my family’s life (not always with their immediate approval or without their resistance though …), and to forego what I do not relly need.
It is so true, and I can vouch first hand, that overcoming the need to amass earthly possessions frees you from worries and ballast.
Having said that, it is – at least in my job environment – actually not easy to lead a simple life, and you may be astounded to know just how much open and hidden criticism I receive from peers and colleagues, all wishing to encourage me to consume more and live a more lavish lifestyle.
Anyway, your site has been such an inspiration to me.
God bless
Lupus